The Battle of Should, Could and Would

Let’s Win. A friend of mine is a perfectionist. It’s their superpower until it isn’t. They were struggling and asked:

“What should I do about my family event? I don’t know if I should go.”

My friend was given all kinds of advice from anyone who would listen. The more decisive Shoulds responded first:

“You should go.”

“You shouldn’t go.”

The Shoulds need to be right and they win by making other people wrong.

Once the Shoulds stood divided, the Coulds showed up strong.

“You could tell them you’re sick.”

“You could tell them you’re busy with other plans.”

“You could drop in for just a few minutes and leave early.”

“You could go and not say anything.”

The Coulds are all about strategy and the art of war. They win battles without direct confrontation.

Spectator Sports

I like a good sporting event, and advice-giving is most definitely a spectator sport. If you understand the game, it’s hours of entertainment.

My perfectionist friend is a Should Champion. If there is something that Should be done, they do it best.

“I should clean the house.” It’s immaculate.

“I should lead a project at work.” It’s superior.

“I should get my MBA. It’s straight As all the way.

My Could friends participate in the sport’s Fantasy League. They spend hours speculating what the real-life players could do to win.

The Most Hated Figure in Sports is the Referee

Should molds the champions. Could motivates the fans. Would is the game-changer.

The Woulds are the referees. Once Would steps into the game, the battle is over. Would makes the final call.

“What would you like to do?”

Once the Would question is asked and answered, it’s all over for the Shoulds and Coulds.

For my perfectionist friend, the Shoulds are much easier than the Woulds. It’s not easy breaking out of the perfectionism prison. The Woulds are imperfect and known for their mistakes.

The War Within

Together, we are learning to win the war within by making choices that resonate with the truest version of ourselves. Right or wrong, the choice would be ours.

I assured my perfectionist friend we will be better at making our own choices with a little more practice. It’s the only way to win.

Let’s win together. Let’s practice making the choices that would work best for YOU. We win when we love our choices.