Completion
Let’s be done. A friend of mine called and asked:
How do I handle someone who is always taking and never giving?
My friend’s story was filled with drama and miscommunication. They couldn’t believe a person could be so inconsiderate. They said:
I have given this person so much of my time, energy and money, and all they do is take.
I asked:
Why were you helping them?
My friend replied:
Because they needed me.
I delivered my response with equal parts gentleness and firmness:
Are you sure?
My friend let out a long sigh and slowly shook their head. With the benefit of hindsight, they quickly realized the person they were helping never really needed their help. My friend was entangled in the symbiotic relationship of Givers and Takers.
It works out for both parties:
Givers love to give. Takers love to take.
When we give to others, our brain releases hormones like oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine. These hormones contribute to our feelings of well-being, pleasure, and social connection.
In my experience, there are three reasons Givers form tight bonds with Takers:
You are addicted to the hormone high of giving.
You are giving to others what you are hoping someone will give to you.
You can’t imagine that someone doesn’t think the way you think.
My friend resonated with reason number three. They were struggling because they honestly never saw the world from the viewpoint of a Taker.
With hindsight, they reasoned:
I see it now. Takers will keep taking as long as I keep giving. I just need to be done.
We both smiled. My friend had no intention of being done with giving. They were just done giving to this one particular Taker.
There is beauty in being DONE and magic in COMPLETION. It doesn’t mean anyone is wrong or you regret your previous actions. My friend summed it up simply:
It’s over and I’m over it.
I enjoyed seeing my friend’s eyes shine brighter as they made this solid declaration. Completion is the opportunity to move forward with newfound clarity and perspective.
Let’s celebrate being done. Don’t look back. Completion is the opportunity to move forward with wisdom.
