Lately, several of my friends have been exploring a popular piece of self-help advice:
“Let Them.”
Author Mel Robbins says:
“Two simple words, Let Them, will set you free from the exhausting cycle of trying to manage everything and everyone around you. It’s time to build a life where you come first—your dreams, your goals, your happiness.”
It sounds wise.
Someone cuts you off in traffic?
“Let them.”
Someone disagrees with you?
“Let them.”
Someone in leadership makes a terrible decision?
“Let them.”
The whole philosophy of “Let Them” reminds me of the old saying:
“Mind your own business.”
Both are wise sayings. Both are different in practice. Theory and practice are two entirely different experiences.
My friends are struggling to put these ideas into practice because they thrive in community.
Your business has an impact on my business. My business has an impact on yours.
When we mind only our own business, we can become isolated. When you build a life where only you come first, you can become separate from something bigger than yourself. Community.
The world doesn't change because everyone perfectly minds their own business. The world changes because someone cared enough to step into someone else's story.
Someone cares. Someone asks questions. Someone uses their strength to help.
Teachers, mentors, neighbors, coaches, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, partners, and friends show up when someone is struggling. They have courageous conversations when someone has drama or trauma. They listen. They encourage. They challenge.
And then, they support your decisions.
They celebrate when things go well. They stay when you make a mistake.
They communicate. They guide. They serve. They step up even when, especially when, fear makes it easier to isolate. They’ve learned that giving someone space is NOT the same as giving someone grace.
Sometimes, they step back to give people room to roam.
That’s space.
Sometimes, they step in before people fall.
That’s grace.
Wisdom knows the difference.
Let them go?
No.
Let them grow?
YES!
Someone cuts you off in traffic?
Give them space to be safe.
Someone disagrees with you?
Give them grace. Listen to their perspective. Stay open to learning a new point of view.
Someone in leadership makes a terrible decision?
Stand up and speak. Seek promotions. Run for office. Develop better leadership skills.
That's not minding someone else's business. That’s building community.
We are interconnected. Your story is part of our story. Your business is connected to our business.
Self-help is not a two-word invitation to care less. It’s an opportunity to care better.
Control less. Care more.
For everyone to grow:
LOVE THEM before you let them.
