Our hearts need to talk now.
Let’s learn. A friend of mine introduced us to their Family Phrase:
Our hearts need to talk now.
The Family Phrase was born during the children’s teenage years. When faced with someone emotionally-flooded, they quickly realized the power of less words.
Now, everyone in the family uses the phrase to signal an end of an argument. Through every level of emotional upset and screams of words we all later regret, this one Family Phrase returns everyone back to love.
We interrupted my friend’s story a few times to marvel and applaud this display of superior parenting skills and emotional intelligence. At the end of the conversation, my friend added:
Oh, and it comes with an 8-second hug.
They explained:
We hug with our hearts together for at least 8 seconds. That’s about how long it takes for our hearts to quiet our minds and feel loving again.
I don’t remember growing up with a Family Phrase. I was the annoying sibling who most often heard the phrase: Get out of my room.
Whenever I wasn’t feeling well, my mom would put her hand on my cheek and say:
Oh honey, it'll be OK.
Her hand on my cheek is what I remember the most.
In the early days of the pandemic, we were forced to stop seeing clients in person. We also stopped handshakes and hugs to prevent the spread of disease. About 10 days into the lockdown, I received a call asking me to do an Individual Session in person. I explained I wasn’t allowed to meet in person.
My new client was an essential worker with a retail job exposing them to hundreds of people each day. They understood they might be a carrier of the virus.
It’s just that I’m all alone right now, and my friends say you helped them. They say you give the best hugs.
We met in person and we hugged. The friends were Parkland students who were the first graduates after the massacre. They taught me the power of less words.
Our hearts need to talk now.
I didn’t grow up in a family that was big on hugs. It is something I learned and continue to learn.
Let’s learn together. Let’s learn the power of a beautiful phrase and a soft touch.
