Half a dozen of my friends have been spending too much time in hospital waiting rooms.
They wait for good news. They wait for bad news. They wait to go home. They wait in a room with no other purpose than to wait.
Over the years, I’ve learned a life lesson or two in hospital waiting rooms. I've learned what to do when nothing can be done.
Hold Space.
In our busy, busy lives, holding space is a tough lesson to learn. We want to help. We want to fix. We want to do something, anything. But sometimes, the most loving thing we can do is simply be present when someone else's needs are greater than our own.
Holding space means answering the call.
Holding space means showing up when someone is suffering beyond our ability to help.
Holding space means sitting with someone in pain even when we can’t make their pain go away.
Holding space means trusting the skills of professionals and relying on the kindness of strangers.
Holding space means staying open and available to help even when we don’t know what happens next.
Holding space means carrying the certainty of hope beyond logic.
Hospital waiting rooms are strange classrooms. No one willingly signs up for these tough life lessons. We can’t control what happens next. But we can choose how we show up while we wait.
We can practice holding space without distraction. We can discipline our minds to stop racing to the worst-case scenarios. We can learn to wait with a loving heart and a peaceful mind.
In a waiting room, we discover the depth of our love, kindness, and patience. We find a level of courage we never knew we had. And we learn to lean on our support systems.
Holding space doesn't mean losing ourselves in someone else's suffering. It means holding boundaries. It means practicing self-care at the same time we care for others. It means recognizing we can’t keep pouring love into others when we’re running on empty.
Waiting rooms teach us how to love bigger with less busy and more belief. When we wonder what to do when nothing can be done, we must remember this:
Waiting is what we do. Holding space is how we love.
