My 25-year-old friend is struggling with adult life. Everything feels hard.
They are miserably underpaid in their unfulfilling job. Their relationships are filled with conflict. Stress is taking a toll on their body. Their outlook on life can be summed up in one word:
Hopeless.
I feel their pain. Being an adult is hard. Those early years of adulthood are especially difficult to navigate.
Right now, my friend believes:
“This is my life. I’m a failure. I’m a loser.”
At the height of any crisis, we forget that hard times are not permanent.
If I could tell my friend (and my own younger self) anything, I would promise them this:
We get better.
My friend doesn't need someone to tell them that everything will magically work out. They need someone to remind them that the person they are today is not the person they will always be.
We get better. Every setback teaches us something new. Every heartache teaches us something different. Every mistake gives us another chance to do better and be better.
Hard times are normal. We may have perfect moments and perfect days, but no one has a perfect life. We all have times when we are blinded by pain, fear, guilt, shame, confusion, frustration, and the flood of emotions that can make life feel unbearable.
After every hard time in life, we heal. We get better.
Sure, we have scars. Our bodies never return to the way they were. But neither do our minds, spirits, and emotions. We get smarter, more grateful, and more resilient.
Scars remind us we have changed. We stop doing the things that cause us pain. We start doing more of the things that bring us joy. We get better at discovering what works and what doesn’t work for our lives.
We repair our lives in the same way Kintsugi repairs broken pottery with gold. We learn to celebrate our imperfections. Every broken moment in life is an opportunity to evolve into something better.
It takes time to learn how to love yourself the way you need to be loved.
Eventually, we figure it out. I can’t promise life gets better. But if we keep learning and growing together, I can promise this:
We get better.
