NO!
Let’s listen when we hear NO. A friend of mine called and said:
You should apply for this job. You would be perfect.
It wasn’t the first time someone mentioned this one job. Many friends reached out to say:
Did you see this job posting? It’s perfect for you.
It’s nice to be recognized for our skills. Recognition is a fundamental human need.
When someone feels recognized and valued by others, it positively impacts their self-esteem and overall well-being. Respect and admiration from others is external proof of our self-worth.
But, what happens to our self-esteem when we don’t get the job? What happens when we are fired or discarded by sweeping layoffs?
First - OUCH!
Second - OUCH AGAIN!!
Third - Insert your favorite 4-letter word here and say out loud: This hurts!
NO hurts.
While I have the ability to face rejection, I don’t want to feel rejection.
NO does hurt. But, don’t be so quick to push away the pain. Let it hurt. It should hurt.
Pain is a messenger and NO hurts. Instead of pushing away the pain, take a moment to pause and listen to the message:
NO, this is not for you!
NO is a gift with a message. NO means redirect your energy. NO is begging you to change your focus. NO means you are needed somewhere else.
Whatever you are seeking – a job, a partner, a spouse, a friend – always remember:
Good on paper doesn’t mean it will be a good fit.
Look closely at the job my friends thought would be perfect for me.
On paper: The job was perfect for me.
On paper: I was perfect for the job.
In reality: NO!
No, it wasn’t a good fit. There’s a vibe that connects people and opportunities. And the vibe was a NO from the start.
I don’t trust the paper, fantasy version of life. But, I do trust when I hear: NO!
The Road NOT Traveled
The word NO sparks a battle to win back my self-esteem and feelings of self-worth. I feel deflated – especially when my friends want to know who got the job.
How could this be? You were perfect.
Who got it? There’s no way they are better than you.
My friends love me, but their outrage is misguided. It’s the same battle when all relationships end. Our mind wants to future-trip the road not traveled.
We look for reasons instead of reality. The truth is always:
Someone else was a better fit. And, I fit better somewhere else.
Being Valued comes from within. I am perfect – just for something, someone, or someplace else.
I don’t like the pain of the word NO, but I do like the message.
NO, this isn’t for you.
NO, because there is something more for you.
NO! There is a better opportunity for you – even if you can’t see it yet.
All I need to do now is keep moving forward. There is something better around the next corner.
Together, let’s listen when we hear NO. Let’s feel the pain and trust the message.
