YES!
Let’s create more YES. A friend of mine called after reading last week’s NO blog. They intellectually understood the value of NO, but they were still flooded with feelings. I listened patiently. After my friend moved through their emotions, they asked the perfect question:
How do I find my YES when all I hear is NO?
Although the answer to this question is different for each person, my friend was relieved by my response. I told them:
You are already doing it by first being honest about your pain.
We only feel the full joy of YES after we are willing to feel the full pain of NO. Previously, my friend refused to feel the pain of rejection. They took NO as a personal failure. They devoured self-help books and listened to countless podcasts on ways they needed to change. The message they internalized was:
Everyone else is right, and I am wrong.
Every NO they heard fueled their self-rejection.
No one can clearly see their own path in life through the tears of failure. We all need someone to champion us when we are feeling down. When our own decision-making process is clouded by negative feelings, we need friends and support systems.
Once my friend voiced their pain and wiped away their tears, everything in life became clearer for them. They could finally see:
NO and YES are simple navigation tools – not a self-help lesson.
YES points us in the direction we need to move forward. I asked my friend:
What is YOUR YES?
Instead of waiting, hoping, and wishing to be put on someone else’s YES list, my friend created their own YES list.
A YES list is similar to having Unicorn Dreams. They may not all come true, but they do inspire magic and a belief in good things to come.
With a clear YES list, my friend is more empowered to face the very real challenge of finding work in today’s job market. Rocky times demand smart navigation.
NO leads to YES! And, Unicorn Dreams really do come true.
We only feel the full joy of YES after we are willing to feel the full pain of NO.
Helping my friend find their YES also strengthened mine. At Being Valued, we keep a Unicorn Dreams “YES” List of people and companies we believe would be great partners. We don’t worry much about the NOs because we are always feeding our YES.
After hearing NO last week, I received a call from the owner of one of our YES companies who said:
We have a need for training, and I asked my team to research you.
Let’s all pause and unpack that opening line. What a beautiful twist for anyone seeking work! They invested time and energy in me before asking me to invest time and energy in them. YES!
They were equally happy to hear I had already researched them. YES!
We only feel the full joy of YES after we are willing to feel the full pain of NO.
NO does lead to YES. And, Unicorn Dreams really do come true.
Let’s ALL create more YES in our lives.
