Revisit without Reliving

Let’s revisit (without reliving) our mistakes. Admitting my flaws in last week’s blog sparked a bit of discussion among many of my clients. They related to the line:

Why sleep when I can replay all the moments I wish I had done differently?

Clients quietly admitted how much they torture themselves with thoughts about their flaws. Thinking about their mistakes produces a wave of anxiety. Their bodies respond as if the past moment is in the present day. Their face turns red, their heartbeat quickens, and their stomach feels nauseous. 

They become stuck in a cycle of regret and remorse. The guilt and shame significantly impacts their mental health and well-being. 

Pain without change helps no one. 

What negative patterns do you have on repeat?

Pain without change helps no one. 

What negative patterns do you have on repeat?

Many sensitive souls are consumed by negative thought patterns. While guilt and shame can be a spark for change, it should never be the fire. A defeatist, negative mindset will only produce more negative outcomes. 

Talking about flaws is only helpful when we can revisit our mistakes without reliving them. 

Look? Yes.

Talk? Yes.

Learn? Yes.

Relive it? NO.

Flaws are not failures. We must look without languishing. It’s time to accept our flaws as a challenge to change.

From this moment forward, what can and will I do differently?

It takes phenomenal will to change behavior. We can’t do it without self-agency. We must first develop control over our own thoughts, words and actions. 

Our personal power is restored with the phrase:

I can do better.

Instead of reliving the past, flip to the future. We can change the outcome of our own lives with the desire to do better. 

Despite my many flaws, I never doubt my ability to learn and grow. 

I can’t change the past. But I know how to change my future with smart choices and wise decisions. I can do better and so can you.

I can do better.

Flaws are not failures when we accept the challenge to change.

Let’s revisit (without reliving) our mistakes together.  Flaws are not failures when we accept the challenge to change.