Seek Community

In my college studies with experts in Experiential Learning, I was taught that pain is a precursor to change.

We make a mistake. We feel pain. We then change. 

This teaching led me to believe:

The purpose of pain is to change.

The theory is people get stuck in their comfort zones and refuse to change until pain knocks on their door. The bigger the pain, the bigger the change.

In the small world of my comfort zone, this hypothesis made sense. But now, I wonder if all that research was solely based on peaceful times. From a more global perspective, I realize:

Not all pain is the same.

Lately, I’ve been watching my loved ones feel the pain of circumstances far beyond their control. Their problems are not self-created. There is nothing they can change despite the pain.

All I can tell them is they are not alone. All I can offer is loving kindness. 

Pain is easier to navigate with a strong community of support. When faced with genuine suffering, our circle of support is essential for survival. It’s hard-wired in our DNA. 

This experience with my loved ones makes me wonder what happens to people who don’t have a strong community of support. What happens to people when communities dissolve?

Maybe the purpose of pain is to seek community. 

When I found myself in times of trouble, my community saved me. The greater the pain, the greater the support.

I didn’t change when I was in pain. The people around me changed.

People showed up. People stepped up. People sacrificed.

In times of uncertainty and instability, everyone needs someone to jump up for them.

No one survives pain alone. We all seek community.