Walk Away
Let’s learn to walk away. A friend of mine read our blog about Boundaries and asked:
How do I walk away?
My friend is struggling to leave a partner who doesn’t respect their boundaries, priorities, and values. My friend tries to walk away, but keeps being pulled back into the drama of the past.
My friend has read all the self-help books about codependency. They follow gurus who talk about empaths and narcissists. They have made dramatic ultimatums, and yet… they still stay. They are hoping something will change.
Since threats to walk away are not working, I kindly reminded my friend that perhaps their focus needs to change. My friend admittedly has been consumed by the past. They keep wishing their partner would act the same as when they first met. They often complain to their partner:
Why don’t you anymore?
It is so much easier to criticize someone else than to make changes of our own. Their need to control the other person is based in fear. My friend doubts their own ability to venture forth on their own.
When we try to walk away from something or someone, our thoughts are focused on what will be lost. When we shift our focus to walking forward towards something or someone, our thoughts are focused on what will be gained. “Walk away” keeps our focus on the past. “Walk forward” turns our focus to the future.
Walk away keeps our focus on the past.
Walk forward turns our focus to the future.
Walk Forward
Instead of walking away, my friend finally made a conscious choice to turn around and walk forward.
A small twist of words creates a dramatic shift in our future happiness. Instead of being consumed by all the things we are walking away FROM, it is time to start defining all the things we are walking forward TO.
As my friend shifted their thoughts to the future, their priorities and actions changed. They stopped complaining and started creating.
My friend said:
Everything changed once I changed my focus. If my partner was intentionally cruel or abusive, I would have found a way to walk away long ago. I realize now I was just scared to walk alone.
Once my friend committed to walking a new path forward, their priorities changed and their self-worth grew exponentially.
I now know I have the strength to walk forward — even if it means walking alone.
Surprisingly, their partner did join them on this new path. With a renewed confidence in the future, my friend invited their partner to join them in a NEW activity both of them would enjoy. Their partner said YES. This small start created a new spark in both of them.
Once we are brave enough to walk forward into a New Chapter, life is full of surprises.
Let’s learn to walk away by walking forward together. Once we stop complaining and start creating, new opportunities for happiness emerge.
